i'm like a person walled in...

it's been a long time since i came here. yup... spider webs are all over this webbie. :) dang...

well, it's one hectic period of time for me. really have been upset by many things that are happening around me. sigh... still, everything happening now has a purpose.

but i have been wondering about what will happen after this tide is over. what will my future be? i'm really pondering all these most of the time. will seeing things as it is bring about happiness? or intervening will bring about true happiness? or ignorance will be the best in this situation? i'm not even sure about it... still, i'm praying that everything that is happening is for the best.

sometimes, i wish i can run away from all this. but, i can't. it's all happening around the closest people i know. i want to run away, but why must there always be someone to pull me back into this situation? i really want to help but i'm powerless in such things. still, i got to be strong and be the one to stand in the gap in such times, although i'm weak in this.

feel like taking 1 whole day doing nothing but to cry like nobody's business but, i'm not the type that resorts to crying when all is not well. i admit i do cry. i sometimes did even cried in public. fancy a guy like me crying, eh?

still, everything is cloudy. a bigger tide will be coming this wednesday. really pray that nothing will turn out wrong. i really need strength to get this over with. i don't want everyone to be worried about me...